i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
