i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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