I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
