she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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