My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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