I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize