I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
