just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize