try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize