that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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