He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
