Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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