Too much gin, very little bucket
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I understand Curling. That high.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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