Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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