I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
