guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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