we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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