I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
