So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
