lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
