Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
