Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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