is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
