I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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