Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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