I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
