And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
