i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize