You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
