"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
