Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
