Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
