My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize