I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
