Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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