so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize