i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
