I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
