yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
