Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
