Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
