Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
try to milk me bitch
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
