it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
