Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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