Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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