Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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