we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I did not marry a roomba.
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