i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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