I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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