I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
