we made out on top of his cat.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize