The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
