chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
