are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
