Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
