i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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