glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
