how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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