You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
