I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
