"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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