So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
