wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
