see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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