loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
