Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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