Sponge bath it is.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm too high and old for this...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
