i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How does it feel to date your dad?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
