Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize