I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
