Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
